Online Dating: How to Make the First Move

Making the first move in online dating involves crafting a personalized message, showing genuine interest, and maintaining a positive attitude. Key steps include reviewing profiles thoroughly, referencing shared interests, asking open-ended questions, and being confident yet respectful.

The world of online dating can be both exciting and daunting, especially when it comes to making the first move. Whether you’re new to dating apps or a seasoned user, knowing how to initiate contact can significantly impact your success in finding meaningful connections. This comprehensive guide will explore the ins and outs of making the first move in online dating, providing you with practical tips, examples, and insights to boost your confidence and improve your chances of making a lasting impression.

Table of Contents

Understanding the Importance of Making the First Move

Making the first move in online dating is crucial for several reasons:

It demonstrates confidence and initiative
It increases your chances of connecting with potential matches
It allows you to take control of your dating experience
It helps you stand out from other users

Many people, regardless of gender, appreciate when someone takes the initiative to start a conversation. In fact, making the first move can often lead to more successful outcomes in online dating.

Preparing to Make the First Move

Before diving into crafting the perfect first message, it’s essential to lay the groundwork for success:

Create an appealing profile: Ensure your profile accurately represents you and includes interesting details that can serve as conversation starters.
Choose the right dating app: Different apps cater to various preferences and demographics. Popular options include Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid.
Review potential matches thoroughly: Take time to read through profiles and look for common interests or unique details you can reference in your opening message.
Build your confidence: Remember that rejection is a normal part of dating, and don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t respond.

Crafting the Perfect First Message

The key to making the first move in online dating is sending a thoughtful, engaging first message. Here are some tips for creating an effective opener:

Personalize your message: Reference something specific from their profile to show you’ve taken the time to read it.
Ask open-ended questions: Encourage conversation by asking questions that require more than a simple yes or no answer.
Be genuine and authentic: Let your personality shine through in your message.
Keep it concise: Aim for a message that’s long enough to show interest but short enough to leave them wanting more.
Use humor (when appropriate): A light-hearted joke or clever wordplay can help break the ice.
Avoid generic openers: Steer clear of overused lines like “Hey, what’s up?” or “How’s your day going?”

Perfect First Message Online Dating Examples

Here are some examples of effective first messages:

“I noticed you’re a fan of [favorite book/movie/TV show]. What did you think about [specific plot point or character]? I’ve been dying to discuss it with someone!”
“Your travel photos are amazing! I’m planning a trip to [destination] next month. Any must-see recommendations?”
“I see we both enjoy [shared hobby]. What first got you interested in it? I’d love to hear your story!”
“Your profile mentioned you’re a coffee enthusiast. Have you tried [local coffee shop]? Their espresso is life-changing!”
“Your dog is adorable! I’m a fellow pet parent to a mischievous cat. Got any funny pet stories to share?”

Making the First Move on Different Dating Apps

Different dating apps have unique features and expectations when it comes to making the first move. Here’s a breakdown of some popular platforms:

Bumble

On Bumble, women are required to make the first move for heterosexual matches. This unique feature empowers women to take control of their dating experience.

Do girls have to message first on Bumble? Yes, for heterosexual matches, women must send the first message within 24 hours of matching. For same-sex matches, either person can initiate the conversation.

What should a girl message first on Tinder or Bumble? When making the first move on Bumble, consider these approaches:

Reference a shared interest from their profile
Ask about an intriguing detail in one of their photos
Share a funny observation or joke related to their bio
Pose a thought-provoking question based on their stated preferences

Tinder

On Tinder, either party can make the first move. Here are some tips for standing out:

Use the person’s name in your opening message
Comment on a specific detail from their profile or photos
Start with a unique question or icebreaker
Keep your message upbeat

Other Dating Apps

For other popular dating apps like OkCupid, Hinge, or Coffee Meets Bagel, the same general principles apply. Tailor your approach to the app’s specific features and user base.

Online Dating: Making the First Move for Guys

While anyone can and should feel empowered to make the first move, many men feel pressure to initiate contact in online dating. Here are some tips specifically for guys making the first move:

Be respectful and genuine: Avoid using pickup lines or overly sexual comments.
Show interest in her as a person: Ask questions about her interests and experiences.
Stand out from the crowd: Craft a unique message that references specific details from her profile.
Be confident but not arrogant: Strike a balance between self-assurance and humility.
Follow up thoughtfully: If she responds, continue the conversation with engaging questions and comments.

Should Women Make the First Move in Online Dating?

The short answer is yes! Many people appreciate when women take the initiative in online dating. Here’s why:

It challenges traditional gender roles and expectations
It demonstrates confidence and assertiveness
It can lead to more meaningful connections
It gives women more control over their dating experiences

Do guys like it when you make the first move? Generally, yes. Many men appreciate when women show interest and initiate contact. It can be a refreshing change from always being expected to make the first move.

Should a woman reach out to a man first? Absolutely! There’s no reason why women shouldn’t feel empowered to reach out first if they’re interested in someone.

How to Make a First Move on Chat

Once you’ve matched with someone and started chatting, you may want to take things to the next level. Here are some tips for making a first move in an ongoing conversation:

Build rapport: Establish a comfortable back-and-forth before suggesting meeting up.
Be clear about your intentions: Express your interest in getting to know them better.
Suggest a specific plan: Rather than a vague “We should hang out sometime,” propose a concrete idea for a date.
Be flexible: Offer options for timing and activities to accommodate their schedule and preferences.
Keep it casual: Avoid putting too much pressure on the first meeting.

Navigating the First Date

After successfully making the first move online, you may find yourself preparing for a first date. Here are some tips for making a good impression:

Choose an appropriate venue: Select a public place that allows for conversation.
Be punctual: Arrive on time to show respect for your date’s time.
Show genuine interest: Ask questions and actively listen to their responses.
Be yourself: Authenticity is key to forming a real connection.
Keep an open mind: Avoid rushing to judgments or comparisons with online interactions.

Do you kiss on the first online date? There’s no hard and fast rule about kissing on a first date, whether you meet online or in person. It depends on the chemistry between you and your date, as well as your personal preferences. If it feels right and both parties are comfortable, a kiss can be a nice way to end the date. However, it’s equally okay to wait for future dates to become more physically intimate.

Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating

To navigate the world of online dating successfully, keep these do’s and don’ts in mind:

Do’s:

Be honest about yourself and your intentions
Use recent, accurate photos on your profile
Take time to read others’ profiles thoroughly
Respond to messages promptly
Be open-minded about potential matches

Don’ts:

Don’t use old or heavily edited photos
Avoid lying about your age, job, or other important details
Don’t ghost people – if you’re not interested, politely let them know
Avoid sharing personal information too quickly
Don’t feel pressured to meet in person before you’re ready

Stages of Online Dating

Understanding the typical stages of online dating can help you navigate the process more effectively:

Profile Creation: Crafting an appealing and honest profile
Browsing and Matching: Looking for potential matches and swiping/liking profiles
Initial Contact: Making the first move or responding to messages
Online Conversation: Getting to know each other through chat or messaging
Moving to Other Platforms: Exchanging phone numbers or connecting on social media
Video Chat or Phone Call: Have a more personal conversation before meeting
First Date: Meeting in person for the first time
Post-Date Communication: Following up and deciding whether to continue dating

Conclusion

Making the first move in online dating can be intimidating, but with the right approach, it can lead to meaningful connections and potential relationships. By crafting personalized messages, showing genuine interest, and maintaining a positive attitude, you can increase your chances of success in the world of online dating. Remember, practice makes perfect, so don’t be discouraged if your first attempts don’t yield immediate results. Stay confident, be yourself, and keep putting yourself out there – your perfect match might just be one message away.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I start dating for the first time online? Create an honest profile, choose a reputable dating app, and start by sending friendly, personalized messages to potential matches.
What is a good first message for online dating? A good first message is personalized, references something from the person’s profile, and includes an open-ended question to encourage conversation.
How do you make the first move on a first date? Show genuine interest, maintain good eye contact, use light touch if appropriate, and be clear about your intentions for future dates.
Should a woman make the first move on a dating app? Yes, women should feel empowered to make the first move if they’re interested in someone. Many people appreciate this initiative.
Why do guys match but not message? There could be various reasons, including being too busy, feeling unsure about what to say, or simply collecting matches without intending to pursue connections.
Do relationships work better when the girl makes the first move? The success of a relationship depends on many factors, not just who makes the first move. However, women making the first move can lead to more balanced and empowered relationships.
What dating app do men message first? On most dating apps, men can message first. However, on Bumble, women are required to send the first message for heterosexual matches.
Who is most likely to make the first move in a relationship? Traditionally, men have been expected to make the first move, but this is changing. Anyone can and should feel comfortable making the first move if they’re interested.
Why are guys scared to make the first move? Fear of rejection, lack of confidence, or uncertainty about the other person’s interest are common reasons why some men hesitate to make the first move.
How to tell if a guy is hiding his feelings for you? Signs might include frequent communication, finding excuses to spend time with you, showing jealousy, or acting differently around you compared to others. However, open communication is the best way to understand someone’s feelings.